Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize