How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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