oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize