Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
