so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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