Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
