Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize