no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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