you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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