I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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