I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
