i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You dont lie about slip and slides
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
