when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I will pee on everything he values.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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