I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
