A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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