I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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