Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
