Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
