so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
