im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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