Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I will be naked everywhere
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize