I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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