marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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