He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
