We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize