I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
