i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize