Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
