Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
