I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
