Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
