the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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