i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
