why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
