the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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