He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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