Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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