I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Your dad touched me again.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
