I've blown a few things in my day
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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