Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
