Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Sponge bath it is.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize