Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize