Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize