I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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