I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
