i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
