How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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