Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
