it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
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