he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
should my penis look like a turkey
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
