I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
there was a trapeze. enough said
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
