Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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