she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
