I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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