the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
