I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
