$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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