Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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