He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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