Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
